I’m the type of guy who writes poetry
I like to read and I have big dreams
Plenty goals and I believe in love
I’m basically the type of guy who thinks romance is real
Long walks on the beach aren’t corny, they’re just not common
Flowers for no reason isn’t wack, it’s just spontaneous
The type of guy who doesn’t always understand but still listens
Not afraid to speak up and ask questions and I won’t agree just to shut you up
Never afraid of a compromise, but still prefer things my way
I’m the type to smile a lot and really believe they’re contagious
I’m goofy, and smooth, and the damn definition of confident
I epitomize swagger and truly feel I’m great
Of course I’m the type to overlook some simple things
I’m not too proud to apologize and admit when I’m wrong
Yes I’m hard-headed, and head strong, but I’m open minded
I’m the type of guy who genuinely just wants to see my girl smile
I’m not scared of watching lifetime on Sundays
And I’ll follow her in all the girly stores in the mall
Sure I’m the type to write love letters, call it corny
Of course a phone call is cool, and a quick text message in convenient
But putting a pen to the paper takes time and effort, and lasts a lot longer
Yeah I’m the type of guy who appreciates passion
I care whether you’re satisfied and comfortable
And I don’t mind doing whatever is possible to get you there
I’m the type of guy who believes in standing for something
One with standards and morals that I abide by
I am accountable and responsible for all my actions, and believe in making others better
I’m not the type of guy to believe in just giving up
Love is an almighty power, but it doesn’t just sustain itself
I’ll fight the fair fight until it’s over, win, draw, or lose
I’m the type of guy who loves who I am
I know who I am and desire to share that with someone
Plenty to give, plenty to share, plenty to love
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Dear Life
"Anger is an uncontrollable feeling that betrays what you are when you are not yourself. Anger is that powerful internal force that blows out the light of reason." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
My whole life it has always bothered me to hear the response, "Because I was mad." Things aren't just all of a sudden okay because you are mad. It is said in the bible that a person led by emotions is a double sided man, unstable in all his ways. People make so many life altering decisions in the midst of their anger and emotions.
I once said that "anger is an emotion that denies progress." Emotions are everything absent from logic, emotions are erattic and spontaneous. You are not who you truly desire to be when you are angry, the quote above is so powerful because it defines the emotion of anger as "uncontrollable." You may not be able to control the circumstances that spark anger within you, but you and solely you are responsible and can control the reactions you take as a result of whatever circumstance.
The quote says anger is an "internal force," it starts within and ends within. When you are outside of the "light of reason," you are in the dark. There is no direction in the dark. "Because I was mad," will never be a viable excuse for erratic and illogical actions. Sometimes its as elementary as counting to ten. Think first.
Rob Hill
My whole life it has always bothered me to hear the response, "Because I was mad." Things aren't just all of a sudden okay because you are mad. It is said in the bible that a person led by emotions is a double sided man, unstable in all his ways. People make so many life altering decisions in the midst of their anger and emotions.
I once said that "anger is an emotion that denies progress." Emotions are everything absent from logic, emotions are erattic and spontaneous. You are not who you truly desire to be when you are angry, the quote above is so powerful because it defines the emotion of anger as "uncontrollable." You may not be able to control the circumstances that spark anger within you, but you and solely you are responsible and can control the reactions you take as a result of whatever circumstance.
The quote says anger is an "internal force," it starts within and ends within. When you are outside of the "light of reason," you are in the dark. There is no direction in the dark. "Because I was mad," will never be a viable excuse for erratic and illogical actions. Sometimes its as elementary as counting to ten. Think first.
Rob Hill
Dear Life
To whom do I owe, except self and God?
When asked the above question, Ithought long and hard before answering. In a world engulfed in the "do me" attitude, many of us feel we have nothing to prove. In most cases we ask ourselves that same question often times leaving out the most important element; that being God.
I was once a self oppressor. Tying my own hands and giving the world credit for "making" me that way. If this didn't happen then I could have been that, or if that didn't happen then I could have been this. I found the answer to teh question quite easy and i'll answer for myself.
I, Robert B. Hillman owe all the loved ones who cared enough to say no. All the people who didnt cater to me. My mother who refused to quit and give up. My family who I didnt allow to love me. The many people who told me I would be great. The church who first claimed I would change lives.
I owe myself, not because I want to prove people wrong, or because I'm motivated by the many limitations others put on me. I do all I can because I know I can, I dont need anymore motivation than that.
I owe first and foremost my Father, my God, my Lord and my Savior. I thought for while
I could be and acheive greatness all by myself. I find strength in knowing he has my back. I find strength in knowing he's not judging me, he's loving me and allowing me to make decisions. The many mistakes I have made, the long dead end roads I have traveled, and yet I still have found a return to love.
To whom do I owe, except God and self?
Rob Hill
When asked the above question, Ithought long and hard before answering. In a world engulfed in the "do me" attitude, many of us feel we have nothing to prove. In most cases we ask ourselves that same question often times leaving out the most important element; that being God.
I was once a self oppressor. Tying my own hands and giving the world credit for "making" me that way. If this didn't happen then I could have been that, or if that didn't happen then I could have been this. I found the answer to teh question quite easy and i'll answer for myself.
I, Robert B. Hillman owe all the loved ones who cared enough to say no. All the people who didnt cater to me. My mother who refused to quit and give up. My family who I didnt allow to love me. The many people who told me I would be great. The church who first claimed I would change lives.
I owe myself, not because I want to prove people wrong, or because I'm motivated by the many limitations others put on me. I do all I can because I know I can, I dont need anymore motivation than that.
I owe first and foremost my Father, my God, my Lord and my Savior. I thought for while
I could be and acheive greatness all by myself. I find strength in knowing he has my back. I find strength in knowing he's not judging me, he's loving me and allowing me to make decisions. The many mistakes I have made, the long dead end roads I have traveled, and yet I still have found a return to love.
To whom do I owe, except God and self?
Rob Hill
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Dear Life
“Too many fathers are M.I.A, too many fathers are AWOL, missing from too many lives and too many homes,” Mr. Obama said, to a chorus of approving murmurs from the audience. “They have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men. And the foundations of our families are weaker because of it.”
“We need fathers to realize that responsibility doesn’t just end at conception. That doesn’t just make you a father. What makes you a man is not the ability to have a child. Any fool can have a child. That doesn’t make you a father. It’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.”
“I know the toll it took on me, not having a father in the house, the hole in your heart when you don’t have a male figure in the home who can guide you and lead you. So I resolved many years ago that it was my obligation to break the cycle — that that if I could be anything in life, I would be a good father to my children.”
These quotes are from Democratic Presidential Nominee Barack Obama.
The african american male is slowly dying. More than just an "endangered species" as I once referred to us, we are an invisible/forgotten species. We have given society plenty reason to denounce our entire presence. The african american male was once seen as an impervious figure with unlimited potential and purpose. Somewhere in the mix of the world and its material things, we fell into a box and continue to hold ourselves captive against the expense of stepping up and doing what it takes.
My heart longs for a great awakening within our communities with the men, our women have carried the load for far too long. Have I all the answers, most certainly not? Yet I am willing to do whatever it takes to bring us back to relevance. Whether you choose to accept responsiblity or not, our community is denied progress everytime we make an excuse not to try and our children are set back that much farther everytime we refuse to fight. This problem did not arise today, and it will not be fixed tomorrow however, it is ever present and must be dealt with.
Rob Hill
“We need fathers to realize that responsibility doesn’t just end at conception. That doesn’t just make you a father. What makes you a man is not the ability to have a child. Any fool can have a child. That doesn’t make you a father. It’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.”
“I know the toll it took on me, not having a father in the house, the hole in your heart when you don’t have a male figure in the home who can guide you and lead you. So I resolved many years ago that it was my obligation to break the cycle — that that if I could be anything in life, I would be a good father to my children.”
These quotes are from Democratic Presidential Nominee Barack Obama.
The african american male is slowly dying. More than just an "endangered species" as I once referred to us, we are an invisible/forgotten species. We have given society plenty reason to denounce our entire presence. The african american male was once seen as an impervious figure with unlimited potential and purpose. Somewhere in the mix of the world and its material things, we fell into a box and continue to hold ourselves captive against the expense of stepping up and doing what it takes.
My heart longs for a great awakening within our communities with the men, our women have carried the load for far too long. Have I all the answers, most certainly not? Yet I am willing to do whatever it takes to bring us back to relevance. Whether you choose to accept responsiblity or not, our community is denied progress everytime we make an excuse not to try and our children are set back that much farther everytime we refuse to fight. This problem did not arise today, and it will not be fixed tomorrow however, it is ever present and must be dealt with.
Rob Hill
Sunday, April 20, 2008
"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar."
How you do know when it’s that time?
Like how can you be so sure?
Everybody is nice when you meet them
Things always run smooth when it’s new
In the beginning there is no struggle
But how do you know when to take that step?
Maybe it’s just me
Like my personal insecurities and issues fog the picture
I know the game, I play it well
It’s like a trap
Once you’re in you’re comfortable
You do you, go where you want, say what you want
Most people you meet are exactly the same way
It’s all about what you can get out of a situation
Sex, conversation, money, clothes, basically anything a relationship could offer
But how do you know when it’s more?
I guess me being comfortable I never let it get that far
I don’t see the point, just seems like that’s going backwards
I tried relationships, play or get played was always the theme
Fighting for me and only me is easier
I do me better than anybody else ever could
But most of all I’m comfortable and it saves time
I don’t have to worry about getting my hopes all up
Then ending up hurt and with less than I started with
It’s like a win-win situation. I guess…
But how do you this time is “the” time though?
Sure times get lonely, but I know lonely people in relationships
So why take the chance
If it works then great and if it doesn’t it was a learning experience right?
Nah, I’ll pass. Not for me. Not right now.
I’ll just keep watching and learn from that.
A movie here, dinner there
I’m good with that
Anything more is pointless
I mean after-all I’m comfortable where I’m at
I’m safe this way.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Men are from Mars
So do we have to cry?
Do we have to stay home in the bed all day?
Are we supposed to leave a hundred voicemails on your phone?
Just what exactly do we have to do for you to know we have feelings too?
“A man’s eyes reflect his soul, his actions reflect his being”
It’s not in our nature to cry
When we are sad we go hang wit the boys
Play sports, watch the game, or go get a drink
We do the little things that bring us joy, and get over it
“Anger is a temporary emotion that denies progress”
It doesn’t mean we are just brushing it off
And of course it doesn’t mean we don’t care
It just means we take the time to clear our heads
So that we can handle the situation in a positive manner
We rather smile than dwell
We rather talk than argue
We rather get over it than sit in
“If you’re going through hell, keep walking”
Why sit in it and mope around
It’s an easy principle
We feel pain just like you do
But after you’ve been mad for two days, then what?
Some things we just won’t understand
Simple to us is big to you
We care, but we just won’t see it the same as you
“The only way to get over it is to go through it”
You understand us
Just about as much as we understand you
We are what we are
Do we have to stay home in the bed all day?
Are we supposed to leave a hundred voicemails on your phone?
Just what exactly do we have to do for you to know we have feelings too?
“A man’s eyes reflect his soul, his actions reflect his being”
It’s not in our nature to cry
When we are sad we go hang wit the boys
Play sports, watch the game, or go get a drink
We do the little things that bring us joy, and get over it
“Anger is a temporary emotion that denies progress”
It doesn’t mean we are just brushing it off
And of course it doesn’t mean we don’t care
It just means we take the time to clear our heads
So that we can handle the situation in a positive manner
We rather smile than dwell
We rather talk than argue
We rather get over it than sit in
“If you’re going through hell, keep walking”
Why sit in it and mope around
It’s an easy principle
We feel pain just like you do
But after you’ve been mad for two days, then what?
Some things we just won’t understand
Simple to us is big to you
We care, but we just won’t see it the same as you
“The only way to get over it is to go through it”
You understand us
Just about as much as we understand you
We are what we are
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Evidence
The pain is present and burning in my eyes
Confusion settles in and depression knocks on my door
I don't answer, I never answer, feelings aren't welcome here
Emotions left a long time ago
Is anything ever enough anymore?
Why do I reek of loneliness in a room full of people?
Why do I long for you when you only longed for him?
I cant deny my feelings but its evident that...
The pain is present and burning in my heart
I am told that things will come and go
And life has proven this to be fact
The happiness comes in the blink of an eye
But the pain takes forever to go
As much as I ignore it, as much as I run from it
The pain sharpens at the sight of you
Eye contact brings visions of you and him together
And when your gone I cant escape those thoughts
Shit I got played and it hurts but its evident that...
The pain is very present and burning in my soul
I hate cupid and his conniving ways
Shot me in my heart with an arrow to break down my guard
Then stab me in the back 30 times harder with his dagger of deception
My love was unconditional
My intentions were pure
My dedications was undeniable
My passion was true
But all of me has never been enough for half of you
The proof is in the evidence.
Confusion settles in and depression knocks on my door
I don't answer, I never answer, feelings aren't welcome here
Emotions left a long time ago
Is anything ever enough anymore?
Why do I reek of loneliness in a room full of people?
Why do I long for you when you only longed for him?
I cant deny my feelings but its evident that...
The pain is present and burning in my heart
I am told that things will come and go
And life has proven this to be fact
The happiness comes in the blink of an eye
But the pain takes forever to go
As much as I ignore it, as much as I run from it
The pain sharpens at the sight of you
Eye contact brings visions of you and him together
And when your gone I cant escape those thoughts
Shit I got played and it hurts but its evident that...
The pain is very present and burning in my soul
I hate cupid and his conniving ways
Shot me in my heart with an arrow to break down my guard
Then stab me in the back 30 times harder with his dagger of deception
My love was unconditional
My intentions were pure
My dedications was undeniable
My passion was true
But all of me has never been enough for half of you
The proof is in the evidence.
Letter to Life
Dear Life,
I was talking on the phone to a friend the other day. Just talking not about anything in particular and then she asked me, "Robert, why is it so hard to let it go?" I didnt really know how to respond being that it caught me off gaurd, but then I thought about it. I thought of questions I could ask myself to see why it would be hard to let it go.
1. Would I be scared to let it go because I fear being lonely?
2. Am I scared to let it go because it would hurt to see her with somebody else?
3. Am i scared to let it go because I dont want it to feel like I wasted my time?
4. Is it because I love this person and I should stick it out regardless of situation?
5. Or maybe I put too much work into for the next nigga to bear the fruits of my labor?
6. Am I scared to try something new?
7. Is it just easier being miserable than risking doing what it takes to be happy?
8. Is it just that I'm used to her?
I thought long and hard about the questions, but my answers to each one changed everytime i answered them. How do you just let go of something that has grown to be apart of you? Easier said than done thats for sure. Kinda like the old song, "See my days are cold without you, but I'm hurting while I'm with you..." LOL. Guess its like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. They say change is inevitable. Courage is the ability to let go of the familiar. It all sounds good, but how do you do it? Move on to the next? NOPE, thats just like sweeping dirt under the rug, sooner or later its bound to resurface.
I never really gave her an answer, I just shared those questions with her, in hopes that she could give me one.
Pain is pleasure right?
Rob Hill
I was talking on the phone to a friend the other day. Just talking not about anything in particular and then she asked me, "Robert, why is it so hard to let it go?" I didnt really know how to respond being that it caught me off gaurd, but then I thought about it. I thought of questions I could ask myself to see why it would be hard to let it go.
1. Would I be scared to let it go because I fear being lonely?
2. Am I scared to let it go because it would hurt to see her with somebody else?
3. Am i scared to let it go because I dont want it to feel like I wasted my time?
4. Is it because I love this person and I should stick it out regardless of situation?
5. Or maybe I put too much work into for the next nigga to bear the fruits of my labor?
6. Am I scared to try something new?
7. Is it just easier being miserable than risking doing what it takes to be happy?
8. Is it just that I'm used to her?
I thought long and hard about the questions, but my answers to each one changed everytime i answered them. How do you just let go of something that has grown to be apart of you? Easier said than done thats for sure. Kinda like the old song, "See my days are cold without you, but I'm hurting while I'm with you..." LOL. Guess its like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. They say change is inevitable. Courage is the ability to let go of the familiar. It all sounds good, but how do you do it? Move on to the next? NOPE, thats just like sweeping dirt under the rug, sooner or later its bound to resurface.
I never really gave her an answer, I just shared those questions with her, in hopes that she could give me one.
Pain is pleasure right?
Rob Hill
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Committment
She asked for a breakthrough
I showed her the way
I asked for a partner
She gave me her hand
She asked for a miracle
I prayed with her
I asked for honesty
She gave me her word
She asked for compassion
I learned to listen
I asked her to show me
She painted the picture
She asked for stability
I showed her consistency
I asked for a believer
She stood behind me
We asked for love
And gave eachother our hearts
I showed her the way
I asked for a partner
She gave me her hand
She asked for a miracle
I prayed with her
I asked for honesty
She gave me her word
She asked for compassion
I learned to listen
I asked her to show me
She painted the picture
She asked for stability
I showed her consistency
I asked for a believer
She stood behind me
We asked for love
And gave eachother our hearts
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
The Girl Next Door
I knew a girl once
I knew every little detail about her
It was awhile ago but,
I still knew her
Not like most knew her
I knew more
I knew more than her sense of humor
I saw further than her voluptuous hips
I saw past those sexy lips
I saw through that long beautiful hair
I knew a girl once
She had big dreams
That glimmer in her eyes that defined greatness
That realness in her walk that defied gravity
That calmness about her spirit that gave security
I knew more
I knew more than the drama surrounding her
I knew more than niggas misusing her
I knew more than the spoiled princess
I knew more than the pressured beauty queen
I knew a girl once
More than the soft words and dark smiles
I saw the tears grace down her cheeks
I saw the depths of her pain
I talked to her heart
I knew more
That fear of rejection
That fear of change
That fear of trying
That fear of disappointment
I knew a girl once
Better than she knew herself
I believed in her
I fought for her
I knew her potential
I knew more
I knew the person that she desired to be
And I know the person who she decided to be
I knew every little detail about her
It was awhile ago but,
I still knew her
Not like most knew her
I knew more
I knew more than her sense of humor
I saw further than her voluptuous hips
I saw past those sexy lips
I saw through that long beautiful hair
I knew a girl once
She had big dreams
That glimmer in her eyes that defined greatness
That realness in her walk that defied gravity
That calmness about her spirit that gave security
I knew more
I knew more than the drama surrounding her
I knew more than niggas misusing her
I knew more than the spoiled princess
I knew more than the pressured beauty queen
I knew a girl once
More than the soft words and dark smiles
I saw the tears grace down her cheeks
I saw the depths of her pain
I talked to her heart
I knew more
That fear of rejection
That fear of change
That fear of trying
That fear of disappointment
I knew a girl once
Better than she knew herself
I believed in her
I fought for her
I knew her potential
I knew more
I knew the person that she desired to be
And I know the person who she decided to be
Thats the girl you know, thats the person you see
I knew that girl once, She's now a stranger to me
Monday, March 17, 2008
A Playa's Truth
To tell the truth
I aint never really done nothing 4real
Like I aint lie about her
Of course she said I was there
Yeah yeah, "we did this, did that"
She is supposed to say all that
You think she really wants to look dumb
I mean she's already looking bad enough
THINK ABOUT IT
or
FALL FOR IT
I mean in all honesty
I dont even know who that is
What? She met me where?
Come on now, you know that aint my scene
My niggas go there, not me, I cant get with it
So you really going to believe some girl over me
She wants what you have, thats all
You know these hating hoes dont want to see us happy
THINK ABOUT IT
or
FALL FOR IT
Look baby I aint even going to lie
They see you looking good, laughing and smiling
You got a nigga thats out here about something
How you can't see thats what they want
So if you got it and they dont'
You already know they are going to do whatever they can to get it
Why you letting these tricks get to you
If they meant something I would be with them not you
THINK ABOUT IT
or
FALL FOR IT
I aint never really done nothing 4real
Like I aint lie about her
Of course she said I was there
Yeah yeah, "we did this, did that"
She is supposed to say all that
You think she really wants to look dumb
I mean she's already looking bad enough
THINK ABOUT IT
or
FALL FOR IT
I mean in all honesty
I dont even know who that is
What? She met me where?
Come on now, you know that aint my scene
My niggas go there, not me, I cant get with it
So you really going to believe some girl over me
She wants what you have, thats all
You know these hating hoes dont want to see us happy
THINK ABOUT IT
or
FALL FOR IT
Look baby I aint even going to lie
They see you looking good, laughing and smiling
You got a nigga thats out here about something
How you can't see thats what they want
So if you got it and they dont'
You already know they are going to do whatever they can to get it
Why you letting these tricks get to you
If they meant something I would be with them not you
THINK ABOUT IT
or
FALL FOR IT
Congratulations
So you really want to see me fall
You want to see me down and out
Crying, hurt, lonely and depressed
You want to see me with nothing
No smiles, no joy, no life
THEN WHAT?
What do you get out of it
I lost, I'm a loser, It's over
You saw all you wanted to see
I'm on my last, knees to the ground
Just pityful, hands out looking for help
NOW WHAT?
You happy now right
Of course you can smile and laugh now
It's good times, you finally did it
You wished for pain to come my way
You prayed for the hatred of hell of upon
Be proud, be joyous, celebrate because you won
FOR WHAT?
Because you were hurt
Because I cheated
Because I didnt make you smile enough
Because I didnt kiss your ass
Because I didnt tell you all you wanted to hear
You smile now because you feel I'm weak
You feel I'm vulnerable and I need you
But what have you gained
The simple facts are
I hurt you, you hurt me
I aint shit, and you the Queen
CONGRATULATIONS
You want to see me down and out
Crying, hurt, lonely and depressed
You want to see me with nothing
No smiles, no joy, no life
THEN WHAT?
What do you get out of it
I lost, I'm a loser, It's over
You saw all you wanted to see
I'm on my last, knees to the ground
Just pityful, hands out looking for help
NOW WHAT?
You happy now right
Of course you can smile and laugh now
It's good times, you finally did it
You wished for pain to come my way
You prayed for the hatred of hell of upon
Be proud, be joyous, celebrate because you won
FOR WHAT?
Because you were hurt
Because I cheated
Because I didnt make you smile enough
Because I didnt kiss your ass
Because I didnt tell you all you wanted to hear
You smile now because you feel I'm weak
You feel I'm vulnerable and I need you
But what have you gained
The simple facts are
I hurt you, you hurt me
I aint shit, and you the Queen
CONGRATULATIONS
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Letter to Life
Dear Life,
Excuse me if the mood is somber, but the rain has a wierd effect on me at times. Listen...
"You the broad that would ride for me? Looked me in my eyes and transformed into the shaggy bitch. how you goin lie to me. you fell for the allure. its my bad you broke in something so secure. i'm no scarred. see you make it type hard for me to see the next broad and not think that she aint just another hoe or slut. i mean. i see relationships in a different view son. to get over the old girl. you gotta get a new one. half of me still wit you and i dont care yall. other half with her. im stuck, so i compare yall. me and her is now. me and you got memories. me and you got love. me and her got chemistry. she's like a friend to me. you're like the enemy. or maybe she's there just to cover that resentment b. or maybe she aint as fake as you. and wont take me through, that same phase as you. or, maybe its simple. she's seen all the pain i was in and wont make the same mistake as you. see. i never had an issue with trust. never knew you had an issue with lust. we can get through anything in this world, if the issue's discussed. was it a whole separate issue. or an issue with us." --- Joe Buddens
You have all the person you need and lose sight over the greater goal of "happiness" trippin about your wants. When your needs are being satisfied recognize that. Wants do not reflect neccessity, they just reflect a desire for more. Yet why do people feel they deserve more, when they dont appreciate what they have. If you want the greatest thing of your life to be the easiest thing in your life, something is wrong. Nothing is easy, don't fear the fight or the challenge it presents. When you are true you dont have to say, "honestly" or "i aint even goin lie" in front of your statements. When you say those things it implies that your 1st instinct was to lie, and most people go with their first instinct. Love shows itself it does not need to be said 100 times a day. Love is only powerful when it is used with action. There are good people on both ends, male and females. Neither of which can escape hurt, yet we all have the same choice once that pain is experienced. "Perpetuate the cycle of hurt, or learn from the pain, and create an avenue beneficial to the reconstruction of a clean heart." Sometimes the words stop and the tears start. Dont think i have ever felt it quite like this before.
rob hill
Excuse me if the mood is somber, but the rain has a wierd effect on me at times. Listen...
"You the broad that would ride for me? Looked me in my eyes and transformed into the shaggy bitch. how you goin lie to me. you fell for the allure. its my bad you broke in something so secure. i'm no scarred. see you make it type hard for me to see the next broad and not think that she aint just another hoe or slut. i mean. i see relationships in a different view son. to get over the old girl. you gotta get a new one. half of me still wit you and i dont care yall. other half with her. im stuck, so i compare yall. me and her is now. me and you got memories. me and you got love. me and her got chemistry. she's like a friend to me. you're like the enemy. or maybe she's there just to cover that resentment b. or maybe she aint as fake as you. and wont take me through, that same phase as you. or, maybe its simple. she's seen all the pain i was in and wont make the same mistake as you. see. i never had an issue with trust. never knew you had an issue with lust. we can get through anything in this world, if the issue's discussed. was it a whole separate issue. or an issue with us." --- Joe Buddens
You have all the person you need and lose sight over the greater goal of "happiness" trippin about your wants. When your needs are being satisfied recognize that. Wants do not reflect neccessity, they just reflect a desire for more. Yet why do people feel they deserve more, when they dont appreciate what they have. If you want the greatest thing of your life to be the easiest thing in your life, something is wrong. Nothing is easy, don't fear the fight or the challenge it presents. When you are true you dont have to say, "honestly" or "i aint even goin lie" in front of your statements. When you say those things it implies that your 1st instinct was to lie, and most people go with their first instinct. Love shows itself it does not need to be said 100 times a day. Love is only powerful when it is used with action. There are good people on both ends, male and females. Neither of which can escape hurt, yet we all have the same choice once that pain is experienced. "Perpetuate the cycle of hurt, or learn from the pain, and create an avenue beneficial to the reconstruction of a clean heart." Sometimes the words stop and the tears start. Dont think i have ever felt it quite like this before.
rob hill
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Chess
You want to play with fools?
If so you’ve chosen the wrong game
No fools play here
No dummies, no retards, no idiots
This is a game of genius
It doesn’t anger me that you try outsmart me
It’s the thought process behind it
The fact that you even thought you could
You thought you could jump like checkers
You thought I was really that easy
I’ve always been too smart to be stupid
I pay attention when it’s free
I see what has been seen and watch it twice
Why not acknowledge the little things
There are so many of them? Pawn
People try to get over all the time
It’s the make up of our world
Whoever has the most kings wins the game
That is the most common mistake with small minds
You only have the upper hand when it is given to you
I watched you, and saw what you were trying to do
I set up my trap, and watched you walk in
You only thought you were getting over
You only thought you could out smart me
I could shut it down at any moment just to see your face
I already know your next move
My mind told me before you showed me
I trust that over anything
No lie will be that
No knight can cover that
It’s only a game when you decide to play it
Play wisely or don’t play at all
Once again you’ve failed to learn the lesson
Sometimes you have to lose the fight
If you’re trying to win the war
CHECKMATE!
If so you’ve chosen the wrong game
No fools play here
No dummies, no retards, no idiots
This is a game of genius
It doesn’t anger me that you try outsmart me
It’s the thought process behind it
The fact that you even thought you could
You thought you could jump like checkers
You thought I was really that easy
I’ve always been too smart to be stupid
I pay attention when it’s free
I see what has been seen and watch it twice
Why not acknowledge the little things
There are so many of them? Pawn
People try to get over all the time
It’s the make up of our world
Whoever has the most kings wins the game
That is the most common mistake with small minds
You only have the upper hand when it is given to you
I watched you, and saw what you were trying to do
I set up my trap, and watched you walk in
You only thought you were getting over
You only thought you could out smart me
I could shut it down at any moment just to see your face
I already know your next move
My mind told me before you showed me
I trust that over anything
No lie will be that
No knight can cover that
It’s only a game when you decide to play it
Play wisely or don’t play at all
Once again you’ve failed to learn the lesson
Sometimes you have to lose the fight
If you’re trying to win the war
CHECKMATE!
Letter to Life
Dear Life,
"Today I woke up at like 9 feeling like no other, kissed moms on the forehead, told her that I loved her." lol "Certain things ya money can't buy, like heaven in the sky, or being this fly." lol
Okay, today I'm in one of my better moods, my adrenaline is pumping and I admit I am forcing the smile. I smile for the gift, yet Iunderstand the curse. I know what I know, and most times what I believe to know is right. I fight it, and I fight it, and I fight it. Even when I know it's right, I still fight it. I ran across a quote the other day...
"Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend"
It meant so much to me. If my time is the most valuable thing I can spend, then I must watch who I give it to and choose to share it with. Going further with it, if I choose to spend MY TIME, with you, dont take it for granted, dont mis-use it. It is the most valuable thing I can spend and I chose to spend it on/with you. No money, no flowers, no gifts, cards, favors...just my TIME. When all the material things are gone, when all the alcohol and the drugs leave, all you have is time. Appreciate mine, it is far from garaunteed.
Rob Hill
"Today I woke up at like 9 feeling like no other, kissed moms on the forehead, told her that I loved her." lol "Certain things ya money can't buy, like heaven in the sky, or being this fly." lol
Okay, today I'm in one of my better moods, my adrenaline is pumping and I admit I am forcing the smile. I smile for the gift, yet Iunderstand the curse. I know what I know, and most times what I believe to know is right. I fight it, and I fight it, and I fight it. Even when I know it's right, I still fight it. I ran across a quote the other day...
"Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend"
It meant so much to me. If my time is the most valuable thing I can spend, then I must watch who I give it to and choose to share it with. Going further with it, if I choose to spend MY TIME, with you, dont take it for granted, dont mis-use it. It is the most valuable thing I can spend and I chose to spend it on/with you. No money, no flowers, no gifts, cards, favors...just my TIME. When all the material things are gone, when all the alcohol and the drugs leave, all you have is time. Appreciate mine, it is far from garaunteed.
Rob Hill
Monday, March 3, 2008
Brother From Another
The words I dedicated to my brother on the day of his funeral.
Thaddius Orlando Weston
A.K.A
TEO
A.K.A
TEO
There's a saying that there is never a right time to say goodbye
Well since I have to say it at the wrong time can I at least know why?
God I don't get why you took back a son, brother, uncle, cousin, and grandchild
I guess I forgot time here is temporary and ultimately, he was your child
Lord I do thank you for the times and memories we've shared
His life is a blessing for us all, because we know you cared
Just let me speak to him a moment, and say a word or two
You know I need this time, Please God just from me to you
Teo, Wow you have been the man to me ever since I was five
Everything I couldn't do, you could do, in my eyes
You were faster in a race, and you could do better flips
I thought I was faster in my socks but at the end you won because I would trip
I thank you for all you have done in my life and the impact you made
You were my brother, cousin, and friend always and forever, till this day
As I look at the family there are a few smiles and many tears
Tell God we still have faith, but can't help wishing you were still here
Just to get one more I Love You and feel your warm embrace
To tell just one more joke, and see that smile across your face
I know Heaven is a beautiful place for which you were prepared
But get your wings and socks ready to race when I get there
Until then we'll hold it down and praise God for your home-going
He promised angels on Earth and your life was just him showing
Thanks God for your time, I appreciate it and I Love You
So everyone be calm and rest because, there's a smiling Teo above you
Well since I have to say it at the wrong time can I at least know why?
God I don't get why you took back a son, brother, uncle, cousin, and grandchild
I guess I forgot time here is temporary and ultimately, he was your child
Lord I do thank you for the times and memories we've shared
His life is a blessing for us all, because we know you cared
Just let me speak to him a moment, and say a word or two
You know I need this time, Please God just from me to you
Teo, Wow you have been the man to me ever since I was five
Everything I couldn't do, you could do, in my eyes
You were faster in a race, and you could do better flips
I thought I was faster in my socks but at the end you won because I would trip
I thank you for all you have done in my life and the impact you made
You were my brother, cousin, and friend always and forever, till this day
As I look at the family there are a few smiles and many tears
Tell God we still have faith, but can't help wishing you were still here
Just to get one more I Love You and feel your warm embrace
To tell just one more joke, and see that smile across your face
I know Heaven is a beautiful place for which you were prepared
But get your wings and socks ready to race when I get there
Until then we'll hold it down and praise God for your home-going
He promised angels on Earth and your life was just him showing
Thanks God for your time, I appreciate it and I Love You
So everyone be calm and rest because, there's a smiling Teo above you
Letter to Life
Dear Life,
7am, this day, two years ago. My brother went home. I had never in my life loss someone so close, so influential, and so special to me. It hit me so hard, unlike anything i had ever felt before. Pain was an understatement, heartbreak just couldnt quite fathom the emotions that flowed through me. We dreamed so much, college, sports, family, kids, careers, cars, clothes, just about anything you could imagine.
March 7th was the day of his homegoing celebration. This day probably changed my life more than his actual death did. I asked to speak at his funeral service, my heart needed an avenue and that was the platform for my release. I woke up alone, got dressed alone, drove to the church alone. I needed me more than anything or anybody else, I had to prove to me who I was because I really didnt know.
I stood there in front the hundreds there in your remembrance. All eyes glazing up at me, your mother, sisters, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I wanted them to smile in the midst of their tears, me and you never did much crying. We never in the absence of smiles, so it just didnt feel fit for us to celebrate your life without them. There i delivered the most precious words i have ever written. Smiles lit up the room, even laughter. I cried at the end as i stared at your body, I'll never forget the warmth of your smile, the genuine love in your hug, or the sincerity in your eyes. Every day for the rest of my life my right arm bears your name, it reminds me of life, never death. No "R.I.P.", just your initials....T.E.O....I LOVE YOU
Your Eternal Brother,
Rob Hill
7am, this day, two years ago. My brother went home. I had never in my life loss someone so close, so influential, and so special to me. It hit me so hard, unlike anything i had ever felt before. Pain was an understatement, heartbreak just couldnt quite fathom the emotions that flowed through me. We dreamed so much, college, sports, family, kids, careers, cars, clothes, just about anything you could imagine.
March 7th was the day of his homegoing celebration. This day probably changed my life more than his actual death did. I asked to speak at his funeral service, my heart needed an avenue and that was the platform for my release. I woke up alone, got dressed alone, drove to the church alone. I needed me more than anything or anybody else, I had to prove to me who I was because I really didnt know.
I stood there in front the hundreds there in your remembrance. All eyes glazing up at me, your mother, sisters, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I wanted them to smile in the midst of their tears, me and you never did much crying. We never in the absence of smiles, so it just didnt feel fit for us to celebrate your life without them. There i delivered the most precious words i have ever written. Smiles lit up the room, even laughter. I cried at the end as i stared at your body, I'll never forget the warmth of your smile, the genuine love in your hug, or the sincerity in your eyes. Every day for the rest of my life my right arm bears your name, it reminds me of life, never death. No "R.I.P.", just your initials....T.E.O....I LOVE YOU
Your Eternal Brother,
Rob Hill
“To Measure the Man, Measure his Heart”
I am the man I say I am
From the way I walk
To the way I talk
A heart of gold
A mind of genius
A soul of God
The sound spirit of a champion
The mindset of a warrior
The demeanor of a conqueror
Yet stuck between the fear of the fight
Knowledge of the outcome
And ignorant of its importance
My feet cemented to a broken foundation
My mind loyal to lust and lies
My soul misplaced in mountains of confusion
A dead man with a heart
No sound, no rhythm
Just a lifeless organ
The mirror often reflects an image
The destruction of self or construction of self
My eyes reflected the heart of a stranger
Lack of care
Lack of concern
Lack of compassion
Damn shame when
Love leaves the heart
Life leaves the man
From the way I walk
To the way I talk
A heart of gold
A mind of genius
A soul of God
The sound spirit of a champion
The mindset of a warrior
The demeanor of a conqueror
Yet stuck between the fear of the fight
Knowledge of the outcome
And ignorant of its importance
My feet cemented to a broken foundation
My mind loyal to lust and lies
My soul misplaced in mountains of confusion
A dead man with a heart
No sound, no rhythm
Just a lifeless organ
The mirror often reflects an image
The destruction of self or construction of self
My eyes reflected the heart of a stranger
Lack of care
Lack of concern
Lack of compassion
Damn shame when
Love leaves the heart
Life leaves the man
Monday, February 25, 2008
Letter to Life
Dear Life,
"You are judged by your actions, NOT your intentions."
Nobody see's what we intend to do or what we intended on doing. They only see what we did or are doing. That is black and white, and no gray area in between. Terms like "I meant to...I was going to...I was trying to...I should have...I would have...etc" There is nothing in those terms but words, and sure we can all make it sound good and fine, but it really isn't. Don't tell me you want this, you deserve that, we should be this way, SHOW ME that all this is so. I can only see and go off your actions. Your words have no merit if the correct actions do not follow. As a child we are told, "Actions speak louder than Words." This is nothing new.
Actions brings life to words, it provides them with a defining meaning. Telling me isn't half as important as showing me. I love words, I use them to express my love, my life, my pain, as well as my pleasure. Yet aside from action, they are nothing. They mean nothing, and they represent nothing. A kiss requires no words, a hug requires no words, yet that hug or kiss with eye contact and an "I love you" afterwards means that much more. Even I find myself "talking" a good game sometimes. There is only one thing that can break a promise, and that is an comprimising action. Promises, like most words are mere intentions, and there is no action in intention.
Intention- 1. an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result.
2. goal. Intention, intent, purpose all refer to a wish that one means to carry out.
Action- 1. something done or accomplished
2. The state or process of doing
3. an act that one consciously wills and that may be characterized by physical or mental activity
Lets be who we say we are, and do as we say we will. Intentions mean nothing until they become actions. Dont promise the world if its not yours to give, dont promise your heart if somebody else has it, and dont confuse your intentions with your actions.
Rob Hill
"You are judged by your actions, NOT your intentions."
Nobody see's what we intend to do or what we intended on doing. They only see what we did or are doing. That is black and white, and no gray area in between. Terms like "I meant to...I was going to...I was trying to...I should have...I would have...etc" There is nothing in those terms but words, and sure we can all make it sound good and fine, but it really isn't. Don't tell me you want this, you deserve that, we should be this way, SHOW ME that all this is so. I can only see and go off your actions. Your words have no merit if the correct actions do not follow. As a child we are told, "Actions speak louder than Words." This is nothing new.
Actions brings life to words, it provides them with a defining meaning. Telling me isn't half as important as showing me. I love words, I use them to express my love, my life, my pain, as well as my pleasure. Yet aside from action, they are nothing. They mean nothing, and they represent nothing. A kiss requires no words, a hug requires no words, yet that hug or kiss with eye contact and an "I love you" afterwards means that much more. Even I find myself "talking" a good game sometimes. There is only one thing that can break a promise, and that is an comprimising action. Promises, like most words are mere intentions, and there is no action in intention.
Intention- 1. an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result.
2. goal. Intention, intent, purpose all refer to a wish that one means to carry out.
Action- 1. something done or accomplished
2. The state or process of doing
3. an act that one consciously wills and that may be characterized by physical or mental activity
Lets be who we say we are, and do as we say we will. Intentions mean nothing until they become actions. Dont promise the world if its not yours to give, dont promise your heart if somebody else has it, and dont confuse your intentions with your actions.
Rob Hill
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Letter To Life
Dear Life,
Change is inevitable. Its a known fact, but I understand the fear of change, the spirit of contentment, and the gluttonous spirit of pain. I was reading a daily quote i receive in my e-mail and it read as so...
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together" - Marilyn Monroe
The greatest things that have happened in the history of life, or the world as we know have come as a direct result of change. Yes, change can make you uncomfortable and at times even scared. It is however necessary, life is change. A common prayer called the "Serenity Prayer" focuses on change as well.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, Courage to change the things i can, and Wisdom to know the difference."
At this point in our lives not many things last forever, we grow, we live, and most of all we change. The changes benefit those of us who allow it to, and for others we allow it to hold us back. I have fell victim to both sides of the fold. Anger, sadness, insecurities, let dows, frustrations are things we all experience, but, "You are not here because you fell down, you are here because you got up." Life will tell you everything your not, and make you forget about everything you are. Your altitude can not change without your attitude, free your mind and the rest will follow as the song would say.
Please don;t block your own blessing.
Rob Hill
Change is inevitable. Its a known fact, but I understand the fear of change, the spirit of contentment, and the gluttonous spirit of pain. I was reading a daily quote i receive in my e-mail and it read as so...
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together" - Marilyn Monroe
The greatest things that have happened in the history of life, or the world as we know have come as a direct result of change. Yes, change can make you uncomfortable and at times even scared. It is however necessary, life is change. A common prayer called the "Serenity Prayer" focuses on change as well.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, Courage to change the things i can, and Wisdom to know the difference."
At this point in our lives not many things last forever, we grow, we live, and most of all we change. The changes benefit those of us who allow it to, and for others we allow it to hold us back. I have fell victim to both sides of the fold. Anger, sadness, insecurities, let dows, frustrations are things we all experience, but, "You are not here because you fell down, you are here because you got up." Life will tell you everything your not, and make you forget about everything you are. Your altitude can not change without your attitude, free your mind and the rest will follow as the song would say.
Please don;t block your own blessing.
Rob Hill
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