Dear Life,
"Today I woke up at like 9 feeling like no other, kissed moms on the forehead, told her that I loved her." lol "Certain things ya money can't buy, like heaven in the sky, or being this fly." lol
Okay, today I'm in one of my better moods, my adrenaline is pumping and I admit I am forcing the smile. I smile for the gift, yet Iunderstand the curse. I know what I know, and most times what I believe to know is right. I fight it, and I fight it, and I fight it. Even when I know it's right, I still fight it. I ran across a quote the other day...
"Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend"
It meant so much to me. If my time is the most valuable thing I can spend, then I must watch who I give it to and choose to share it with. Going further with it, if I choose to spend MY TIME, with you, dont take it for granted, dont mis-use it. It is the most valuable thing I can spend and I chose to spend it on/with you. No money, no flowers, no gifts, cards, favors...just my TIME. When all the material things are gone, when all the alcohol and the drugs leave, all you have is time. Appreciate mine, it is far from garaunteed.
Rob Hill
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
Brother From Another
The words I dedicated to my brother on the day of his funeral.
Thaddius Orlando Weston
A.K.A
TEO
A.K.A
TEO
There's a saying that there is never a right time to say goodbye
Well since I have to say it at the wrong time can I at least know why?
God I don't get why you took back a son, brother, uncle, cousin, and grandchild
I guess I forgot time here is temporary and ultimately, he was your child
Lord I do thank you for the times and memories we've shared
His life is a blessing for us all, because we know you cared
Just let me speak to him a moment, and say a word or two
You know I need this time, Please God just from me to you
Teo, Wow you have been the man to me ever since I was five
Everything I couldn't do, you could do, in my eyes
You were faster in a race, and you could do better flips
I thought I was faster in my socks but at the end you won because I would trip
I thank you for all you have done in my life and the impact you made
You were my brother, cousin, and friend always and forever, till this day
As I look at the family there are a few smiles and many tears
Tell God we still have faith, but can't help wishing you were still here
Just to get one more I Love You and feel your warm embrace
To tell just one more joke, and see that smile across your face
I know Heaven is a beautiful place for which you were prepared
But get your wings and socks ready to race when I get there
Until then we'll hold it down and praise God for your home-going
He promised angels on Earth and your life was just him showing
Thanks God for your time, I appreciate it and I Love You
So everyone be calm and rest because, there's a smiling Teo above you
Well since I have to say it at the wrong time can I at least know why?
God I don't get why you took back a son, brother, uncle, cousin, and grandchild
I guess I forgot time here is temporary and ultimately, he was your child
Lord I do thank you for the times and memories we've shared
His life is a blessing for us all, because we know you cared
Just let me speak to him a moment, and say a word or two
You know I need this time, Please God just from me to you
Teo, Wow you have been the man to me ever since I was five
Everything I couldn't do, you could do, in my eyes
You were faster in a race, and you could do better flips
I thought I was faster in my socks but at the end you won because I would trip
I thank you for all you have done in my life and the impact you made
You were my brother, cousin, and friend always and forever, till this day
As I look at the family there are a few smiles and many tears
Tell God we still have faith, but can't help wishing you were still here
Just to get one more I Love You and feel your warm embrace
To tell just one more joke, and see that smile across your face
I know Heaven is a beautiful place for which you were prepared
But get your wings and socks ready to race when I get there
Until then we'll hold it down and praise God for your home-going
He promised angels on Earth and your life was just him showing
Thanks God for your time, I appreciate it and I Love You
So everyone be calm and rest because, there's a smiling Teo above you
Letter to Life
Dear Life,
7am, this day, two years ago. My brother went home. I had never in my life loss someone so close, so influential, and so special to me. It hit me so hard, unlike anything i had ever felt before. Pain was an understatement, heartbreak just couldnt quite fathom the emotions that flowed through me. We dreamed so much, college, sports, family, kids, careers, cars, clothes, just about anything you could imagine.
March 7th was the day of his homegoing celebration. This day probably changed my life more than his actual death did. I asked to speak at his funeral service, my heart needed an avenue and that was the platform for my release. I woke up alone, got dressed alone, drove to the church alone. I needed me more than anything or anybody else, I had to prove to me who I was because I really didnt know.
I stood there in front the hundreds there in your remembrance. All eyes glazing up at me, your mother, sisters, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I wanted them to smile in the midst of their tears, me and you never did much crying. We never in the absence of smiles, so it just didnt feel fit for us to celebrate your life without them. There i delivered the most precious words i have ever written. Smiles lit up the room, even laughter. I cried at the end as i stared at your body, I'll never forget the warmth of your smile, the genuine love in your hug, or the sincerity in your eyes. Every day for the rest of my life my right arm bears your name, it reminds me of life, never death. No "R.I.P.", just your initials....T.E.O....I LOVE YOU
Your Eternal Brother,
Rob Hill
7am, this day, two years ago. My brother went home. I had never in my life loss someone so close, so influential, and so special to me. It hit me so hard, unlike anything i had ever felt before. Pain was an understatement, heartbreak just couldnt quite fathom the emotions that flowed through me. We dreamed so much, college, sports, family, kids, careers, cars, clothes, just about anything you could imagine.
March 7th was the day of his homegoing celebration. This day probably changed my life more than his actual death did. I asked to speak at his funeral service, my heart needed an avenue and that was the platform for my release. I woke up alone, got dressed alone, drove to the church alone. I needed me more than anything or anybody else, I had to prove to me who I was because I really didnt know.
I stood there in front the hundreds there in your remembrance. All eyes glazing up at me, your mother, sisters, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I wanted them to smile in the midst of their tears, me and you never did much crying. We never in the absence of smiles, so it just didnt feel fit for us to celebrate your life without them. There i delivered the most precious words i have ever written. Smiles lit up the room, even laughter. I cried at the end as i stared at your body, I'll never forget the warmth of your smile, the genuine love in your hug, or the sincerity in your eyes. Every day for the rest of my life my right arm bears your name, it reminds me of life, never death. No "R.I.P.", just your initials....T.E.O....I LOVE YOU
Your Eternal Brother,
Rob Hill
“To Measure the Man, Measure his Heart”
I am the man I say I am
From the way I walk
To the way I talk
A heart of gold
A mind of genius
A soul of God
The sound spirit of a champion
The mindset of a warrior
The demeanor of a conqueror
Yet stuck between the fear of the fight
Knowledge of the outcome
And ignorant of its importance
My feet cemented to a broken foundation
My mind loyal to lust and lies
My soul misplaced in mountains of confusion
A dead man with a heart
No sound, no rhythm
Just a lifeless organ
The mirror often reflects an image
The destruction of self or construction of self
My eyes reflected the heart of a stranger
Lack of care
Lack of concern
Lack of compassion
Damn shame when
Love leaves the heart
Life leaves the man
From the way I walk
To the way I talk
A heart of gold
A mind of genius
A soul of God
The sound spirit of a champion
The mindset of a warrior
The demeanor of a conqueror
Yet stuck between the fear of the fight
Knowledge of the outcome
And ignorant of its importance
My feet cemented to a broken foundation
My mind loyal to lust and lies
My soul misplaced in mountains of confusion
A dead man with a heart
No sound, no rhythm
Just a lifeless organ
The mirror often reflects an image
The destruction of self or construction of self
My eyes reflected the heart of a stranger
Lack of care
Lack of concern
Lack of compassion
Damn shame when
Love leaves the heart
Life leaves the man
Monday, February 25, 2008
Letter to Life
Dear Life,
"You are judged by your actions, NOT your intentions."
Nobody see's what we intend to do or what we intended on doing. They only see what we did or are doing. That is black and white, and no gray area in between. Terms like "I meant to...I was going to...I was trying to...I should have...I would have...etc" There is nothing in those terms but words, and sure we can all make it sound good and fine, but it really isn't. Don't tell me you want this, you deserve that, we should be this way, SHOW ME that all this is so. I can only see and go off your actions. Your words have no merit if the correct actions do not follow. As a child we are told, "Actions speak louder than Words." This is nothing new.
Actions brings life to words, it provides them with a defining meaning. Telling me isn't half as important as showing me. I love words, I use them to express my love, my life, my pain, as well as my pleasure. Yet aside from action, they are nothing. They mean nothing, and they represent nothing. A kiss requires no words, a hug requires no words, yet that hug or kiss with eye contact and an "I love you" afterwards means that much more. Even I find myself "talking" a good game sometimes. There is only one thing that can break a promise, and that is an comprimising action. Promises, like most words are mere intentions, and there is no action in intention.
Intention- 1. an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result.
2. goal. Intention, intent, purpose all refer to a wish that one means to carry out.
Action- 1. something done or accomplished
2. The state or process of doing
3. an act that one consciously wills and that may be characterized by physical or mental activity
Lets be who we say we are, and do as we say we will. Intentions mean nothing until they become actions. Dont promise the world if its not yours to give, dont promise your heart if somebody else has it, and dont confuse your intentions with your actions.
Rob Hill
"You are judged by your actions, NOT your intentions."
Nobody see's what we intend to do or what we intended on doing. They only see what we did or are doing. That is black and white, and no gray area in between. Terms like "I meant to...I was going to...I was trying to...I should have...I would have...etc" There is nothing in those terms but words, and sure we can all make it sound good and fine, but it really isn't. Don't tell me you want this, you deserve that, we should be this way, SHOW ME that all this is so. I can only see and go off your actions. Your words have no merit if the correct actions do not follow. As a child we are told, "Actions speak louder than Words." This is nothing new.
Actions brings life to words, it provides them with a defining meaning. Telling me isn't half as important as showing me. I love words, I use them to express my love, my life, my pain, as well as my pleasure. Yet aside from action, they are nothing. They mean nothing, and they represent nothing. A kiss requires no words, a hug requires no words, yet that hug or kiss with eye contact and an "I love you" afterwards means that much more. Even I find myself "talking" a good game sometimes. There is only one thing that can break a promise, and that is an comprimising action. Promises, like most words are mere intentions, and there is no action in intention.
Intention- 1. an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result.
2. goal. Intention, intent, purpose all refer to a wish that one means to carry out.
Action- 1. something done or accomplished
2. The state or process of doing
3. an act that one consciously wills and that may be characterized by physical or mental activity
Lets be who we say we are, and do as we say we will. Intentions mean nothing until they become actions. Dont promise the world if its not yours to give, dont promise your heart if somebody else has it, and dont confuse your intentions with your actions.
Rob Hill
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Letter To Life
Dear Life,
Change is inevitable. Its a known fact, but I understand the fear of change, the spirit of contentment, and the gluttonous spirit of pain. I was reading a daily quote i receive in my e-mail and it read as so...
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together" - Marilyn Monroe
The greatest things that have happened in the history of life, or the world as we know have come as a direct result of change. Yes, change can make you uncomfortable and at times even scared. It is however necessary, life is change. A common prayer called the "Serenity Prayer" focuses on change as well.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, Courage to change the things i can, and Wisdom to know the difference."
At this point in our lives not many things last forever, we grow, we live, and most of all we change. The changes benefit those of us who allow it to, and for others we allow it to hold us back. I have fell victim to both sides of the fold. Anger, sadness, insecurities, let dows, frustrations are things we all experience, but, "You are not here because you fell down, you are here because you got up." Life will tell you everything your not, and make you forget about everything you are. Your altitude can not change without your attitude, free your mind and the rest will follow as the song would say.
Please don;t block your own blessing.
Rob Hill
Change is inevitable. Its a known fact, but I understand the fear of change, the spirit of contentment, and the gluttonous spirit of pain. I was reading a daily quote i receive in my e-mail and it read as so...
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together" - Marilyn Monroe
The greatest things that have happened in the history of life, or the world as we know have come as a direct result of change. Yes, change can make you uncomfortable and at times even scared. It is however necessary, life is change. A common prayer called the "Serenity Prayer" focuses on change as well.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, Courage to change the things i can, and Wisdom to know the difference."
At this point in our lives not many things last forever, we grow, we live, and most of all we change. The changes benefit those of us who allow it to, and for others we allow it to hold us back. I have fell victim to both sides of the fold. Anger, sadness, insecurities, let dows, frustrations are things we all experience, but, "You are not here because you fell down, you are here because you got up." Life will tell you everything your not, and make you forget about everything you are. Your altitude can not change without your attitude, free your mind and the rest will follow as the song would say.
Please don;t block your own blessing.
Rob Hill
Monday, February 4, 2008
Amusement Park
The rollercoaster of love seems it has made its final stop
I got off feeling lonelier than I was before I got on
Looking back at my seat I could tell I had outgrown it
Puppy love ended with the airplanes and swings
The next ride will start soon
But for the real rides the wait is long
Patience is a virtue
So I’d rather wait and ride right
Instead of rushing and riding wrong
I have a lot of new habits
More than a few personal issues
All of them including the new pains
I respect the reason for the season
And recognize the necessity of the change
I’m learning to be my number one priority
I now recognize the importance of my own happiness
For so long in front of me my heart was being dangled
To the point where I felt like my mind was being strangled
I can’t afford to lose me making you happy
I’m focused on getting my life straight
Making a better me for ME
With dreams of those improvements one day complimenting her
I fantasize about that magic carpet ride rising higher and higher
And the butterflies in my stomach lasting forever
I snap back and fall into life’s long line of reality and realize
That today I am done with forcing relationships
What is to come will be just that
Not satisfied yet content with being single for now
Just live and learn to give time “time”
The rain is far from permanent
The sun is bound to shine
I am far from giving up
My ride is merely under construction
And only temporarily shut down
I am love
That fire still burns here
Though my eyes bury the pain
And my heart hides the scars
My soul still remembers loves’ bumper cars
I got off feeling lonelier than I was before I got on
Looking back at my seat I could tell I had outgrown it
Puppy love ended with the airplanes and swings
The next ride will start soon
But for the real rides the wait is long
Patience is a virtue
So I’d rather wait and ride right
Instead of rushing and riding wrong
I have a lot of new habits
More than a few personal issues
All of them including the new pains
I respect the reason for the season
And recognize the necessity of the change
I’m learning to be my number one priority
I now recognize the importance of my own happiness
For so long in front of me my heart was being dangled
To the point where I felt like my mind was being strangled
I can’t afford to lose me making you happy
I’m focused on getting my life straight
Making a better me for ME
With dreams of those improvements one day complimenting her
I fantasize about that magic carpet ride rising higher and higher
And the butterflies in my stomach lasting forever
I snap back and fall into life’s long line of reality and realize
That today I am done with forcing relationships
What is to come will be just that
Not satisfied yet content with being single for now
Just live and learn to give time “time”
The rain is far from permanent
The sun is bound to shine
I am far from giving up
My ride is merely under construction
And only temporarily shut down
I am love
That fire still burns here
Though my eyes bury the pain
And my heart hides the scars
My soul still remembers loves’ bumper cars
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Letter to Life
Dear Life,
The rain just kinda puts me in a zone. I love thinking already, but the rain kinda just gets my juices flowing and my thoughts racing to the point where i cant get up from the computer until i write something. A part of me just wont let me go without expressing or sharing something with you. So in the absence of other words to write I thought a simple "i love you" would go along way! The power in those 3 words amazes me. The power of love amazes me. Love changes lives, it alters attitudes, and when its right..........its all you'll ever need! God is love, and he made me in his reflection, so love is all i desire to be! Thanks life for your daily lessons, and thanks for keeping things interesting.
Rob Hill
The rain just kinda puts me in a zone. I love thinking already, but the rain kinda just gets my juices flowing and my thoughts racing to the point where i cant get up from the computer until i write something. A part of me just wont let me go without expressing or sharing something with you. So in the absence of other words to write I thought a simple "i love you" would go along way! The power in those 3 words amazes me. The power of love amazes me. Love changes lives, it alters attitudes, and when its right..........its all you'll ever need! God is love, and he made me in his reflection, so love is all i desire to be! Thanks life for your daily lessons, and thanks for keeping things interesting.
Rob Hill
Monday, January 14, 2008
Lottery
Is it that she is...
Infatuated with his mind?
In love with his demeanor?
Or overwhelmed by his presence?
Her stares reflect her heart
Her actions reflect true love
Her being reflects his favor
Is it that he is...
Engulfed in her confidence
Overcome by her grace
Or blessed by her existence
His eyes scream fear
His walk embodies his nerves
His hands sweat at her touch
Is it is that they are…
Afraid to take on forever
Too selfish to overcome their past
Or so stuck in what is now
Love is not coming everyday
Real only shows under fake
And pain is pleasure right?
TAKE A CHANCE TAKE A CHANCE
It just might work out
Knowing is trying
Standing still only benefits a statue
I wonder if it’s her
Or could it be him
Pressure is on both of them
She scratched to win
He picked to play
It’s all on luck at the end of the day
Infatuated with his mind?
In love with his demeanor?
Or overwhelmed by his presence?
Her stares reflect her heart
Her actions reflect true love
Her being reflects his favor
Is it that he is...
Engulfed in her confidence
Overcome by her grace
Or blessed by her existence
His eyes scream fear
His walk embodies his nerves
His hands sweat at her touch
Is it is that they are…
Afraid to take on forever
Too selfish to overcome their past
Or so stuck in what is now
Love is not coming everyday
Real only shows under fake
And pain is pleasure right?
TAKE A CHANCE TAKE A CHANCE
It just might work out
Knowing is trying
Standing still only benefits a statue
I wonder if it’s her
Or could it be him
Pressure is on both of them
She scratched to win
He picked to play
It’s all on luck at the end of the day
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Letters To Life
Dear Life,
Alot can happen in a months time. I look at the last time I wrote you and the contents of the letter, and I smile. I think I'm addicted to falling because I'm in love with the overcoming feeling of getting up. I get up everytime, every damn time I rise and feel stronger than ever. I get so caught up thinking that yesterday, I was better off than I am today. Seems like you were bringing me something new each day without cease, and I almost got scared this time. Looking back, I aint been down like that in awhile. But new beginnings, bring new feelings, and even more necessary endings. lol. Its life, and moreover it's my life. I appreciate every moment of it. Thank you for all you throw my way. I FEEL SOOOOOO GOOD. Im ready, send it all my way. I sit and I think about how strong I am...it had to take something or many things great to knock me down, and for me to get up after it...lol....its amazing to me. "If you are what you say you are, Then have no fear." I love life, get ready, im done sleeping!!!
Love,
Rob "All the man I say I am" Hill
Alot can happen in a months time. I look at the last time I wrote you and the contents of the letter, and I smile. I think I'm addicted to falling because I'm in love with the overcoming feeling of getting up. I get up everytime, every damn time I rise and feel stronger than ever. I get so caught up thinking that yesterday, I was better off than I am today. Seems like you were bringing me something new each day without cease, and I almost got scared this time. Looking back, I aint been down like that in awhile. But new beginnings, bring new feelings, and even more necessary endings. lol. Its life, and moreover it's my life. I appreciate every moment of it. Thank you for all you throw my way. I FEEL SOOOOOO GOOD. Im ready, send it all my way. I sit and I think about how strong I am...it had to take something or many things great to knock me down, and for me to get up after it...lol....its amazing to me. "If you are what you say you are, Then have no fear." I love life, get ready, im done sleeping!!!
Love,
Rob "All the man I say I am" Hill
Monday, December 10, 2007
Lost and Found
How do I show her what she is missing
How do I tell her I'm everything she is looking for
How do I tell her I'm everything she is looking for
IM THAT MAN
The one who will make her smile
The one that will make her happy
The one who will love her inspite of
How do I make her see that...
I AM THAT MAN FOR HER
How do I show her
She think she wants this
She thinks she needs that
I can only say but so much
And really I can't do too much more
I love the best way I know how
Flaws and all
I'm me
But I try so hard, I do my best
Yet all she seems to want is more
I see nothing wrong with her wanting
Because I will give her anything in my reach
But I just want her to WANT ME FOR ME
And if I'm not enough I want her to want more
Even if that more is something I can't provide
Only because I know she is worth it and deserves it
But how do I show her I am all the more she will ever need
How do I make her just want ME
I will love her past her pain
I will soothe that heartbreak
I will be all the wants in the world
But most of all I AM WHAT SHE NEEDS
How do I make her see
How do I open her eyes
Can't she see the gift in me
What's so wrong with me
All the wants
All her needs
IS IN ME
But how do I make her see what she is missing
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Letters To Life
Dear Life,
My heart is heavy today. I dont have time to stop, I don't have time to be scared, I don't even have time for a break. I have to press on, I have to fight, I have to live. WHY ME??? Has anything ever just made you say why me? Like everybody looking at you, everybody wants something from you. You so caught up in trying to get everybody else right, that you scared to stop and help yourself. I MISS ME!!! Lol I'm feeling so stuck that all I can do is laugh, the tears won't come, and ill be damned if start to claim depression, but I really want to just shut down and stop. BUT... if I stop, then what happens. Everybody so used to me being so strong, they so used to having something to lean on. What happens when I stop ......................................................................................................................................................... EXACTLY. Nothing, when I stop aint nothing goin happen, everything goin stay still or get worse until
I start again. I'm feeling like the walls closing in, I'm feeling like I have to do something, like I have to do it now. But I'm lost, and I aint gettin no better. Not much else to say. Love you.
Rob Hill
Friday, December 7, 2007
Our Christmas Wishlist
You really want to know what we want
Like seriously, are you sure your ready for what we really want
From...You, Yall, Females, Women period.
Well...
A man wants a woman who is confident
we want you to embody all that you say you are
Beautiful, Intelligent, Classy; the complete package
We want you to walk it just as well as you talk it
Know when to keep it real and tell us what we need to hear
But know when to be supportive, bite your tongue
Suck it up and say, "Baby i believe in you"
We appreciate your opinion but it aint always needed
We want you to be a freak, we like that stuff
But we want to be the only one that knows you have that side
We want some confidentiality in our relationships
We want to know more about us than your friends do
At least let us know before you go tell them
We want you to know that we are human
And therefore not mind-readers or mistake free
Please know we are going to mess up and do dumb stuff
We are going to go by what your mouth says
If you say one thing thats what we think you mean
We cant always decipher your riddles and subliminal messages
Tell us how you feel and exactly what you mean
Of course we know its somethings we are just supposed to know
But those things come far and in between
We dont understand yall, just as much as yall dont understand us
Know that we really do care
We cant always vocally express our emotions
But that does not mean our feelings aren't real
We dont like when you ask us did we miss you
When we do, we will either tell you or show you
We want you to still hold it down when you mad at us
People argue, and people move on, why cant you?
Realize that life is give and take
Relationships are far from that 50/50 crap people try to sell
They are 100% me and 100% you, and nothing less
Know that we are not the previous guy that you used to be with
All of us are not the same, though we do share similarities
I aint to blame for his mistakes
We want you to say you trust us, and actually show it
Dont follow us, pop up out of nowhere, or go through our phones
The worst thing to do to an innocent man is accuse him
Know that some things we do, we do them just because
We are not mean or insensitive on purpose
Most of us have just been taught to never show we care
Know that we are far more than we show on the surface
We care about little things too, we just dont make them a big deal
Sure we dont mind fussing and arguing
Long as we know you going give us some afterwards
We want and friend and a lover
Of course we know more than just sex
But please dont knock us for enjoying it, take it as a compliment
Love us hard and be stay true through the rough times
We will forever be thankful
Know that we are thinking about you just as much as you think about us
We love you too, we just dont see why we have to say it 50 times a day
We really just want something real
Be you and let us be us
Everything else will fall into place
Like seriously, are you sure your ready for what we really want
From...You, Yall, Females, Women period.
Well...
A man wants a woman who is confident
we want you to embody all that you say you are
Beautiful, Intelligent, Classy; the complete package
We want you to walk it just as well as you talk it
Know when to keep it real and tell us what we need to hear
But know when to be supportive, bite your tongue
Suck it up and say, "Baby i believe in you"
We appreciate your opinion but it aint always needed
We want you to be a freak, we like that stuff
But we want to be the only one that knows you have that side
We want some confidentiality in our relationships
We want to know more about us than your friends do
At least let us know before you go tell them
We want you to know that we are human
And therefore not mind-readers or mistake free
Please know we are going to mess up and do dumb stuff
We are going to go by what your mouth says
If you say one thing thats what we think you mean
We cant always decipher your riddles and subliminal messages
Tell us how you feel and exactly what you mean
Of course we know its somethings we are just supposed to know
But those things come far and in between
We dont understand yall, just as much as yall dont understand us
Know that we really do care
We cant always vocally express our emotions
But that does not mean our feelings aren't real
We dont like when you ask us did we miss you
When we do, we will either tell you or show you
We want you to still hold it down when you mad at us
People argue, and people move on, why cant you?
Realize that life is give and take
Relationships are far from that 50/50 crap people try to sell
They are 100% me and 100% you, and nothing less
Know that we are not the previous guy that you used to be with
All of us are not the same, though we do share similarities
I aint to blame for his mistakes
We want you to say you trust us, and actually show it
Dont follow us, pop up out of nowhere, or go through our phones
The worst thing to do to an innocent man is accuse him
Know that some things we do, we do them just because
We are not mean or insensitive on purpose
Most of us have just been taught to never show we care
Know that we are far more than we show on the surface
We care about little things too, we just dont make them a big deal
Sure we dont mind fussing and arguing
Long as we know you going give us some afterwards
We want and friend and a lover
Of course we know more than just sex
But please dont knock us for enjoying it, take it as a compliment
Love us hard and be stay true through the rough times
We will forever be thankful
Know that we are thinking about you just as much as you think about us
We love you too, we just dont see why we have to say it 50 times a day
We really just want something real
Be you and let us be us
Everything else will fall into place
Dear Love
I have been trying to find the words to say to you
Its crazy because, what exactly do you day
To the one thing that makes me feel whole
But is the only thing that makes me feel like nothing
I'm attracted you
That craving for the smiles you bring
That desire for the warmth of those feelings
That fire in me burning for happiness
I miss you Love, I miss you dearly
Because everything changed when you left
My sould didnt sing the same
You told me I was hard-headed
You told me I wouldn't be the same without you
But i doubted you thinking it was all about me
I said I would never want you again anyway
Cuz in the end all you really did was leave
You grew, you changed, you asked for more
I was good where we were at
Our differences led to differences that eventually led to loneliness
But I'm back now L0ve
I want another shot, I NEED another shot
The games are old now, this one and that one is gone now
I'm back to square one and its just me missing you
I believe in me now, I believe in US
I love you Love
Affectionately,
My Heart
Its crazy because, what exactly do you day
To the one thing that makes me feel whole
But is the only thing that makes me feel like nothing
I'm attracted you
That craving for the smiles you bring
That desire for the warmth of those feelings
That fire in me burning for happiness
I miss you Love, I miss you dearly
Because everything changed when you left
My sould didnt sing the same
You told me I was hard-headed
You told me I wouldn't be the same without you
But i doubted you thinking it was all about me
I said I would never want you again anyway
Cuz in the end all you really did was leave
You grew, you changed, you asked for more
I was good where we were at
Our differences led to differences that eventually led to loneliness
But I'm back now L0ve
I want another shot, I NEED another shot
The games are old now, this one and that one is gone now
I'm back to square one and its just me missing you
I believe in me now, I believe in US
I love you Love
Affectionately,
My Heart
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Dream Somebody
you ever had somebody special in your life
like they ain't have to tell you they were special
you just knew
it was something about them that you just couldn't put your finger on
but that something had you thinking about them ALL THE TIME
that something had you hanging up the phone smiling for no reason
it had you in class daydreaming about skipping wit them
something that made every slow song on the radio remind you of them
or that something that had you replaying old conversations yall had in your mind and getting weak at the same things all over again
somebody who made you stare at the nights sky and make the stars spell their name
that person you didn't mind sitting on the phone with all night talking bout nothing
the type person that would kiss you with morning breath, but then tell you go brush your teeth
a person that wouldn't just tell you what they thought you wanted to hear
somebody who actually took the time to show they cared
someone who loved your flaws and accepted them as being apart of you
that person who knew just how to piss you off
and was smart enough to stop before it got there
then make you smile and laugh till you forgot it ever happened
the type person that took pride in making you happy
that someone that had been hurt before just like you
that had been unappreciated and taken for granted just like you
who gave their all and got nothing just like you
that person who could make you laugh till your stomach and cheeks hurt
you know, that somebody with that contagious smile
and those heart melting hugs
the type person who would kiss the tears away, because they felt wiping was too rough
somebody who believed in your smallest dreams
it was just something about their swagger
that person who could call you from a thousand different numbers
but you still recognize their voice
you know the person who you held hands with in the movies just to feel closer
you know...
well maybe you don't...
at least not like I do
because I do all these things
while I dream about you
like they ain't have to tell you they were special
you just knew
it was something about them that you just couldn't put your finger on
but that something had you thinking about them ALL THE TIME
that something had you hanging up the phone smiling for no reason
it had you in class daydreaming about skipping wit them
something that made every slow song on the radio remind you of them
or that something that had you replaying old conversations yall had in your mind and getting weak at the same things all over again
somebody who made you stare at the nights sky and make the stars spell their name
that person you didn't mind sitting on the phone with all night talking bout nothing
the type person that would kiss you with morning breath, but then tell you go brush your teeth
a person that wouldn't just tell you what they thought you wanted to hear
somebody who actually took the time to show they cared
someone who loved your flaws and accepted them as being apart of you
that person who knew just how to piss you off
and was smart enough to stop before it got there
then make you smile and laugh till you forgot it ever happened
the type person that took pride in making you happy
that someone that had been hurt before just like you
that had been unappreciated and taken for granted just like you
who gave their all and got nothing just like you
that person who could make you laugh till your stomach and cheeks hurt
you know, that somebody with that contagious smile
and those heart melting hugs
the type person who would kiss the tears away, because they felt wiping was too rough
somebody who believed in your smallest dreams
it was just something about their swagger
that person who could call you from a thousand different numbers
but you still recognize their voice
you know the person who you held hands with in the movies just to feel closer
you know...
well maybe you don't...
at least not like I do
because I do all these things
while I dream about you
Wake Up
One day you're going to want that guy.
That guy that knew he wasn't perfect,
but tried to be perfect for you.
The guy that believed the scraps of you he was given were worth it,
because something was better than nothing.
That guy who wanted nothing more than to be there for you,
and loving you was the only way he could.
The guy who sees your flaws,
but values them as much as your strengths.
That guy who still can't bring himself to hate you,
even though sometimes you probably deserve it.
That guy who saw past your pretty eyes,
and treasured parts of you that no one else has ever appreciated.
The guy who realizes he may never have your heart,
but will carry the image of you in his forever.
That guy that sees this and still LIKES you,
regardless of how self consumed you are.
That guy that should have you and your heart,
but doesn't.
Even though he deserves it.
That guy that knew he wasn't perfect,
but tried to be perfect for you.
The guy that believed the scraps of you he was given were worth it,
because something was better than nothing.
That guy who wanted nothing more than to be there for you,
and loving you was the only way he could.
The guy who sees your flaws,
but values them as much as your strengths.
That guy who still can't bring himself to hate you,
even though sometimes you probably deserve it.
That guy who saw past your pretty eyes,
and treasured parts of you that no one else has ever appreciated.
The guy who realizes he may never have your heart,
but will carry the image of you in his forever.
That guy that sees this and still LIKES you,
regardless of how self consumed you are.
That guy that should have you and your heart,
but doesn't.
Even though he deserves it.
Teach Me
I want to learn how to love you
I want to learn how to do all the little things you like to do
Those little things that will keep that beautiful smile on your face
I want to learn how to cook your favorite meals
Like macaroni and cheese, lasagna, steak, pasta, even salads
I want to learn how to be more compassionate
So I know when you need the kiss, the hug, or just a smile and a back rub
I want to learn when to say "let's talk about it"
Or when to just shut up and let time make it right
I want to learn how to slow dance
Because stepping on your feet ain't cool but I can't help it I'm clumsy
I want to learn how to run your bath water, not too hot or too cold, just right
I want to learn how to be more affectionate
Even if holding hands is wack to me, I can learn to like it for you
I want to learn to be more expressive and open about what's on my mind
Sharing feelings and all that is a lot easier said than done
I want to learn to trust and have faith without doubt
I want to learn the importance of sharing the same drink and same straw at the movies
And why it's so necessary to save the ticket stub for memories
I want to learn to be more spontaneous and keep up the spice
Like flowers for no reason or elementary secret admirer love notes with boxes to check
I want to learn when to just let you win
I want to know why sometimes "no" means "yes" and "stop" means "keep going"
Or why you get mad if I don't notice your new hairstyle or hair color
I want to learn the difference in a perm and a relaxer or blonde and bronze highlights
How am I supposed to know when it's a doobie or a silk wrap
I really just want to love you better the way you make me better
I'm ready and willing…
TEACH ME
I want to learn how to do all the little things you like to do
Those little things that will keep that beautiful smile on your face
I want to learn how to cook your favorite meals
Like macaroni and cheese, lasagna, steak, pasta, even salads
I want to learn how to be more compassionate
So I know when you need the kiss, the hug, or just a smile and a back rub
I want to learn when to say "let's talk about it"
Or when to just shut up and let time make it right
I want to learn how to slow dance
Because stepping on your feet ain't cool but I can't help it I'm clumsy
I want to learn how to run your bath water, not too hot or too cold, just right
I want to learn how to be more affectionate
Even if holding hands is wack to me, I can learn to like it for you
I want to learn to be more expressive and open about what's on my mind
Sharing feelings and all that is a lot easier said than done
I want to learn to trust and have faith without doubt
I want to learn the importance of sharing the same drink and same straw at the movies
And why it's so necessary to save the ticket stub for memories
I want to learn to be more spontaneous and keep up the spice
Like flowers for no reason or elementary secret admirer love notes with boxes to check
I want to learn when to just let you win
I want to know why sometimes "no" means "yes" and "stop" means "keep going"
Or why you get mad if I don't notice your new hairstyle or hair color
I want to learn the difference in a perm and a relaxer or blonde and bronze highlights
How am I supposed to know when it's a doobie or a silk wrap
I really just want to love you better the way you make me better
I'm ready and willing…
TEACH ME
Time
Its amazing what changes time can bring
Time plays with my mind allowing me to think i have nothing but time
See you cant put a time limit on what takes time
Yet the fact that time has started only lets me know time is running out
So as the clock clicks and time turns
I use my real eyes to realize the real lies that time has brought me
Time to appreciate the lives GOD has blessed my life with
Time to be thankful for the time I have been given
Because if I didnt know then well I definitely know now
Time is not promisedI see life as your gift and time as your blessing
The times I spent cussing and fussing
Or the times I spent holding grudges
Even the times I spent blocking my own blessings
I now look at those times and learn
And I thank GOD time has no relevance in Heaven
With each breath I hold life as a reminder that times clock is clicking
So rather than fight time, I use it on my side
With my time I will smile a little longer
And I will laugh a little harder
And I will think that much smarter
Because I know that time is not promised
So instead of sending flowers, let these words be roses
Now, Always and Forever
I LOVE YOU
Release
You ever had a feeling
I mean its not much else you can call it, its just a feeling
You cant always put what your feeling into words
But you know that your feeling some type of way
Well thats the way i feel right now
I'll try to break it down to you
I'll try to break it down to you
LOVE...this sacred term of endearment
I cant front it means alot to me, for reasons i dont even know
And as a nigga, well man, it really aint supposed to be all that
BUT, plain and simple i understand that its necessary in life
Therefore i see it as a platform on which my feet will stand firm upon one day
"There is no such thing as a no good man, every no good man was created by a no good woman"
It takes something for a man to go astray
"There is no such thing as a no good man, every no good man was created by a no good woman"
It takes something for a man to go astray
To start living for himself, to start "doing him"
Especially in my case, well my cases
I have plenty of horror stories, she lied, she cheated, she phony
But at this age i mean who doesnt, thats not my gripe at all
My problem is with the dream that is sold
My problem is with the dream that is sold
I hate the dream sellersYou may refer to them as liars but to me, they sell dreams
The people who are too self-consumed to realize there are other people alive
To realize that other people have been hurt
To realize others have been lied to and cheated on
YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE
So many people, say they live this way or that way because of their past
Its nothing wrong with learning from your past
Just make sure the lessons you learn from your past benefit your future
Dont be the same person from the last relationship in your new one
Learn enough about yourself, be truthful enough with yourself to confront issues
People mess up and ruin thier happiness before it is even reached
Just because its not how you want it at first
You lie, quit and ruin anything that is to come
All because you are not woman or man enough to put in the work
If i know anything, i know LOVE and relationships are work
Nothing ever worth having will just be given to you
Enduring the fight and weathering the storm, strengthens you
Anything that is not tested will fail
Anything that is not tested will fail
There is no in between the truth and a lie
It is either TRUTH or LIES
When you are honest enough to be real with yourself
All that you deserve will come soon after
Love covers a multitude of sins
It does not remember wrong-doings by others
When you can forgive your past
Learn from your mistakes, and move on with all regrets behind you
Thats when love will meet you
And i will be the first to smile and tell you congratulations
Hopefully i will be there sooner than later
History In The Making
Lately I have been doing some routine self maintenance
I have noticed a few positives and a few negatives
And others that are just…. Others
There is common ground on all levels
It is my thinking that determines my circumstance
They say cut the head and the rest follows
If I think love then I will love
If I think success then I will succeed
If I think prosperity then I will prosper
And in that same breath
If i think depression then I will be depressed
If I think failure then I will fail
If I think regression then I will regress
My actions occur as my thoughts process
Yet I sometimes feel I have no control over my thoughts
As if its impossible to change them
I, however can not conform to impossibilities
Because I know through the door of possibility comes opportunity
As a man thinks, so he does
Its not what you do to me
Its not what my professor does to me
Its not what my boss does to me
It is what I allow to be done and how I react to it
Me, is the only thing stopping ME
I know I can not change until my thinking is changed
I have to learn from MY experiences
I can no longer place myself on hold blaming YOU
So before I forgive you, let me first forgive myself
For everything I denied and continuously deny myself
Know that my physical is a shell that may not reflect the beauty of its contents
Yet I am told through pressure a coal turns to diamond
Watch closely,
I am History in the Making
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