Amusement Park

The rollercoaster of love seems it has made its final stop
I got off feeling lonelier than I was before I got on
Looking back at my seat I could tell I had outgrown it
Puppy love ended with the airplanes and swings

The next ride will start soon
But for the real rides the wait is long
Patience is a virtue
So I’d rather wait and ride right
Instead of rushing and riding wrong

I have a lot of new habits
More than a few personal issues
All of them including the new pains
I respect the reason for the season
And recognize the necessity of the change

I’m learning to be my number one priority
I now recognize the importance of my own happiness
For so long in front of me my heart was being dangled
To the point where I felt like my mind was being strangled
I can’t afford to lose me making you happy

I’m focused on getting my life straight
Making a better me for ME
With dreams of those improvements one day complimenting her
I fantasize about that magic carpet ride rising higher and higher
And the butterflies in my stomach lasting forever

I snap back and fall into life’s long line of reality and realize
That today I am done with forcing relationships
What is to come will be just that
Not satisfied yet content with being single for now
Just live and learn to give time “time”

The rain is far from permanent
The sun is bound to shine
I am far from giving up
My ride is merely under construction
And only temporarily shut down

I am love
That fire still burns here
Though my eyes bury the pain
And my heart hides the scars
My soul still remembers loves’ bumper cars

Letter to Life

Dear Life,

The rain just kinda puts me in a zone. I love thinking already, but the rain kinda just gets my juices flowing and my thoughts racing to the point where i cant get up from the computer until i write something. A part of me just wont let me go without expressing or sharing something with you. So in the absence of other words to write I thought a simple "i love you" would go along way! The power in those 3 words amazes me. The power of love amazes me. Love changes lives, it alters attitudes, and when its right..........its all you'll ever need! God is love, and he made me in his reflection, so love is all i desire to be! Thanks life for your daily lessons, and thanks for keeping things interesting.

Rob Hill

Lottery

Is it that she is...

Infatuated with his mind?
In love with his demeanor?
Or overwhelmed by his presence?

Her stares reflect her heart
Her actions reflect true love
Her being reflects his favor

Is it that he is...

Engulfed in her confidence
Overcome by her grace
Or blessed by her existence

His eyes scream fear
His walk embodies his nerves
His hands sweat at her touch

Is it is that they are…

Afraid to take on forever
Too selfish to overcome their past
Or so stuck in what is now

Love is not coming everyday
Real only shows under fake
And pain is pleasure right?

TAKE A CHANCE TAKE A CHANCE

It just might work out
Knowing is trying
Standing still only benefits a statue

I wonder if it’s her
Or could it be him
Pressure is on both of them

She scratched to win
He picked to play
It’s all on luck at the end of the day

Letters To Life

Dear Life,

Alot can happen in a months time. I look at the last time I wrote you and the contents of the letter, and I smile. I think I'm addicted to falling because I'm in love with the overcoming feeling of getting up. I get up everytime, every damn time I rise and feel stronger than ever. I get so caught up thinking that yesterday, I was better off than I am today. Seems like you were bringing me something new each day without cease, and I almost got scared this time. Looking back, I aint been down like that in awhile. But new beginnings, bring new feelings, and even more necessary endings. lol. Its life, and moreover it's my life. I appreciate every moment of it. Thank you for all you throw my way. I FEEL SOOOOOO GOOD. Im ready, send it all my way. I sit and I think about how strong I am...it had to take something or many things great to knock me down, and for me to get up after it...lol....its amazing to me. "If you are what you say you are, Then have no fear." I love life, get ready, im done sleeping!!!

Love,

Rob "All the man I say I am" Hill

Lost and Found

How do I show her what she is missing
How do I tell her I'm everything she is looking for

IM THAT MAN

The one who will make her smile
The one that will make her happy
The one who will love her inspite of
How do I make her see that...

I AM THAT MAN FOR HER

How do I show her
She think she wants this
She thinks she needs that
I can only say but so much
And really I can't do too much more

I love the best way I know how
Flaws and all
I'm me

But I try so hard, I do my best
Yet all she seems to want is more
I see nothing wrong with her wanting
Because I will give her anything in my reach

But I just want her to WANT ME FOR ME
And if I'm not enough I want her to want more
Even if that more is something I can't provide
Only because I know she is worth it and deserves it

But how do I show her I am all the more she will ever need
How do I make her just want ME

I will love her past her pain
I will soothe that heartbreak
I will be all the wants in the world
But most of all I AM WHAT SHE NEEDS

How do I make her see
How do I open her eyes
Can't she see the gift in me
What's so wrong with me

All the wants
All her needs
IS IN ME
But how do I make her see what she is missing

Letters To Life

Dear Life,

My heart is heavy today. I dont have time to stop, I don't have time to be scared, I don't even have time for a break. I have to press on, I have to fight, I have to live. WHY ME??? Has anything ever just made you say why me? Like everybody looking at you, everybody wants something from you. You so caught up in trying to get everybody else right, that you scared to stop and help yourself. I MISS ME!!! Lol I'm feeling so stuck that all I can do is laugh, the tears won't come, and ill be damned if start to claim depression, but I really want to just shut down and stop. BUT... if I stop, then what happens. Everybody so used to me being so strong, they so used to having something to lean on. What happens when I stop ......................................................................................................................................................... EXACTLY. Nothing, when I stop aint nothing goin happen, everything goin stay still or get worse until
I start again. I'm feeling like the walls closing in, I'm feeling like I have to do something, like I have to do it now. But I'm lost, and I aint gettin no better. Not much else to say. Love you.

Rob Hill

Our Christmas Wishlist

You really want to know what we want
Like seriously, are you sure your ready for what we really want
From...You, Yall, Females, Women period.
Well...
A man wants a woman who is confident
we want you to embody all that you say you are
Beautiful, Intelligent, Classy; the complete package
We want you to walk it just as well as you talk it
Know when to keep it real and tell us what we need to hear
But know when to be supportive, bite your tongue
Suck it up and say, "Baby i believe in you"
We appreciate your opinion but it aint always needed
We want you to be a freak, we like that stuff
But we want to be the only one that knows you have that side
We want some confidentiality in our relationships
We want to know more about us than your friends do
At least let us know before you go tell them
We want you to know that we are human
And therefore not mind-readers or mistake free
Please know we are going to mess up and do dumb stuff
We are going to go by what your mouth says
If you say one thing thats what we think you mean
We cant always decipher your riddles and subliminal messages
Tell us how you feel and exactly what you mean
Of course we know its somethings we are just supposed to know
But those things come far and in between
We dont understand yall, just as much as yall dont understand us
Know that we really do care
We cant always vocally express our emotions
But that does not mean our feelings aren't real
We dont like when you ask us did we miss you
When we do, we will either tell you or show you
We want you to still hold it down when you mad at us
People argue, and people move on, why cant you?
Realize that life is give and take
Relationships are far from that 50/50 crap people try to sell
They are 100% me and 100% you, and nothing less
Know that we are not the previous guy that you used to be with
All of us are not the same, though we do share similarities
I aint to blame for his mistakes
We want you to say you trust us, and actually show it
Dont follow us, pop up out of nowhere, or go through our phones
The worst thing to do to an innocent man is accuse him
Know that some things we do, we do them just because
We are not mean or insensitive on purpose
Most of us have just been taught to never show we care
Know that we are far more than we show on the surface
We care about little things too, we just dont make them a big deal
Sure we dont mind fussing and arguing
Long as we know you going give us some afterwards
We want and friend and a lover
Of course we know more than just sex
But please dont knock us for enjoying it, take it as a compliment
Love us hard and be stay true through the rough times
We will forever be thankful
Know that we are thinking about you just as much as you think about us
We love you too, we just dont see why we have to say it 50 times a day
We really just want something real
Be you and let us be us
Everything else will fall into place

Dear Love

I have been trying to find the words to say to you
Its crazy because, what exactly do you day
To the one thing that makes me feel whole
But is the only thing that makes me feel like nothing
I'm attracted you
That craving for the smiles you bring
That desire for the warmth of those feelings
That fire in me burning for happiness
I miss you Love, I miss you dearly
Because everything changed when you left
My sould didnt sing the same
You told me I was hard-headed
You told me I wouldn't be the same without you
But i doubted you thinking it was all about me
I said I would never want you again anyway
Cuz in the end all you really did was leave
You grew, you changed, you asked for more
I was good where we were at
Our differences led to differences that eventually led to loneliness
But I'm back now L0ve
I want another shot, I NEED another shot
The games are old now, this one and that one is gone now
I'm back to square one and its just me missing you
I believe in me now, I believe in US
I love you Love

Affectionately,

My Heart

Dream Somebody

you ever had somebody special in your life
like they ain't have to tell you they were special
you just knew
it was something about them that you just couldn't put your finger on
but that something had you thinking about them ALL THE TIME
that something had you hanging up the phone smiling for no reason
it had you in class daydreaming about skipping wit them
something that made every slow song on the radio remind you of them
or that something that had you replaying old conversations yall had in your mind and getting weak at the same things all over again
somebody who made you stare at the nights sky and make the stars spell their name
that person you didn't mind sitting on the phone with all night talking bout nothing
the type person that would kiss you with morning breath, but then tell you go brush your teeth
a person that wouldn't just tell you what they thought you wanted to hear
somebody who actually took the time to show they cared
someone who loved your flaws and accepted them as being apart of you
that person who knew just how to piss you off
and was smart enough to stop before it got there
then make you smile and laugh till you forgot it ever happened
the type person that took pride in making you happy
that someone that had been hurt before just like you
that had been unappreciated and taken for granted just like you
who gave their all and got nothing just like you
that person who could make you laugh till your stomach and cheeks hurt
you know, that somebody with that contagious smile
and those heart melting hugs
the type person who would kiss the tears away, because they felt wiping was too rough
somebody who believed in your smallest dreams
it was just something about their swagger
that person who could call you from a thousand different numbers
but you still recognize their voice
you know the person who you held hands with in the movies just to feel closer
you know...
well maybe you don't...
at least not like I do
because I do all these things
while I dream about you

Wake Up

One day you're going to want that guy.

That guy that knew he wasn't perfect,
but tried to be perfect for you.

The guy that believed the scraps of you he was given were worth it,
because something was better than nothing.

That guy who wanted nothing more than to be there for you,
and loving you was the only way he could.

The guy who sees your flaws,
but values them as much as your strengths.

That guy who still can't bring himself to hate you,
even though sometimes you probably deserve it.

That guy who saw past your pretty eyes,
and treasured parts of you that no one else has ever appreciated.

The guy who realizes he may never have your heart,
but will carry the image of you in his forever.

That guy that sees this and still LIKES you,
regardless of how self consumed you are.

That guy that should have you and your heart,
but doesn't.

Even though he deserves it.

Teach Me

I want to learn how to love you
I want to learn how to do all the little things you like to do
Those little things that will keep that beautiful smile on your face

I want to learn how to cook your favorite meals
Like macaroni and cheese, lasagna, steak, pasta, even salads

I want to learn how to be more compassionate
So I know when you need the kiss, the hug, or just a smile and a back rub

I want to learn when to say "let's talk about it"
Or when to just shut up and let time make it right

I want to learn how to slow dance
Because stepping on your feet ain't cool but I can't help it I'm clumsy

I want to learn how to run your bath water, not too hot or too cold, just right

I want to learn how to be more affectionate
Even if holding hands is wack to me, I can learn to like it for you

I want to learn to be more expressive and open about what's on my mind
Sharing feelings and all that is a lot easier said than done

I want to learn to trust and have faith without doubt

I want to learn the importance of sharing the same drink and same straw at the movies
And why it's so necessary to save the ticket stub for memories

I want to learn to be more spontaneous and keep up the spice
Like flowers for no reason or elementary secret admirer love notes with boxes to check

I want to learn when to just let you win
I want to know why sometimes "no" means "yes" and "stop" means "keep going"

Or why you get mad if I don't notice your new hairstyle or hair color
I want to learn the difference in a perm and a relaxer or blonde and bronze highlights
How am I supposed to know when it's a doobie or a silk wrap

I really just want to love you better the way you make me better
I'm ready and willing…
TEACH ME

Time

Its amazing what changes time can bring

Time plays with my mind allowing me to think i have nothing but time

See you cant put a time limit on what takes time

Yet the fact that time has started only lets me know time is running out

So as the clock clicks and time turns

I use my real eyes to realize the real lies that time has brought me

Time to appreciate the lives GOD has blessed my life with

Time to be thankful for the time I have been given

Because if I didnt know then well I definitely know now

Time is not promisedI see life as your gift and time as your blessing

The times I spent cussing and fussing

Or the times I spent holding grudges

Even the times I spent blocking my own blessings

I now look at those times and learn

And I thank GOD time has no relevance in Heaven

With each breath I hold life as a reminder that times clock is clicking

So rather than fight time, I use it on my side

With my time I will smile a little longer

And I will laugh a little harder

And I will think that much smarter

Because I know that time is not promised

So instead of sending flowers, let these words be roses

Now, Always and Forever

I LOVE YOU

Release

You ever had a feeling

I mean its not much else you can call it, its just a feeling

You cant always put what your feeling into words

But you know that your feeling some type of way

Well thats the way i feel right now
I'll try to break it down to you

LOVE...this sacred term of endearment

I cant front it means alot to me, for reasons i dont even know

And as a nigga, well man, it really aint supposed to be all that

BUT, plain and simple i understand that its necessary in life

Therefore i see it as a platform on which my feet will stand firm upon one day
"There is no such thing as a no good man, every no good man was created by a no good woman"
It takes something for a man to go astray

To start living for himself, to start "doing him"

Especially in my case, well my cases

I have plenty of horror stories, she lied, she cheated, she phony

But at this age i mean who doesnt, thats not my gripe at all
My problem is with the dream that is sold

I hate the dream sellersYou may refer to them as liars but to me, they sell dreams

The people who are too self-consumed to realize there are other people alive

To realize that other people have been hurt

To realize others have been lied to and cheated on

YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE

So many people, say they live this way or that way because of their past

Its nothing wrong with learning from your past

Just make sure the lessons you learn from your past benefit your future

Dont be the same person from the last relationship in your new one

Learn enough about yourself, be truthful enough with yourself to confront issues

People mess up and ruin thier happiness before it is even reached

Just because its not how you want it at first

You lie, quit and ruin anything that is to come

All because you are not woman or man enough to put in the work

If i know anything, i know LOVE and relationships are work

Nothing ever worth having will just be given to you

Enduring the fight and weathering the storm, strengthens you
Anything that is not tested will fail

There is no in between the truth and a lie

It is either TRUTH or LIES

When you are honest enough to be real with yourself

All that you deserve will come soon after

Love covers a multitude of sins

It does not remember wrong-doings by others

When you can forgive your past

Learn from your mistakes, and move on with all regrets behind you

Thats when love will meet you

And i will be the first to smile and tell you congratulations

Hopefully i will be there sooner than later

History In The Making

Lately I have been doing some routine self maintenance

I have noticed a few positives and a few negatives

And others that are just…. Others

There is common ground on all levels

It is my thinking that determines my circumstance

They say cut the head and the rest follows

If I think love then I will love

If I think success then I will succeed

If I think prosperity then I will prosper

And in that same breath

If i think depression then I will be depressed

If I think failure then I will fail

If I think regression then I will regress

My actions occur as my thoughts process

Yet I sometimes feel I have no control over my thoughts

As if its impossible to change them

I, however can not conform to impossibilities

Because I know through the door of possibility comes opportunity

As a man thinks, so he does

Its not what you do to me

Its not what my professor does to me

Its not what my boss does to me

It is what I allow to be done and how I react to it

Me, is the only thing stopping ME

I know I can not change until my thinking is changed

I have to learn from MY experiences

I can no longer place myself on hold blaming YOU

So before I forgive you, let me first forgive myself

For everything I denied and continuously deny myself

Know that my physical is a shell that may not reflect the beauty of its contents

Yet I am told through pressure a coal turns to diamond

Watch closely,

I am History in the Making

Da Squad/Team Piff 804 Takeover Weekend

SQUAD BOYS IN THE BUILDING

"TOAST TO THE GOOD LIFE"

An Endangered Species

I would love to save you all.
I would really love to have every resource needed to save you.
Everyone of you.

The pressure placed upon your shoulders.
All the unexpected pain.
The suppressed emotions.
Never feeling the love of a father.
Embracing the double-sided sword like love of a broken-hearted mother.
Escaping the madness of home only to find comfort in the cold cracked concrete.
Finding refuge under a street light on the corner.
Seeking security in the form of a dollar, a pound, and a key.
Believing everything in front of you, because you have never seen past it.
Identifying the term "Bitch" only with a woman.
Ignorant to the fact it is defined as a female dog.
Referring to the female as a hoe, not knowing it's a garden tool.
Lost, never knowing the difference between a "man" and or a "nigga".
I am scared for you.
I understand more than you will ever know.
Who is responsible? Why are you held accountable?
You had no choice in your birth.
No choice in your circumstance.
All you know is what you have lived and what you have seen.
Life has never been a dream in your world, all you know is real.
I fear for you, my heart cries for you.
However, I believe in you.
No man's eyes have seen the promise God has for you.
Faith is the substance of things not seen.
Find power in knowledge.
Have the confidence to try.
You will only be as great as you say you are.
You only lose when you give up.
Use your tongue as your sword, and keep a book as your ammo.
Because they say the easiest way to hide something from you is to put it in a book.
Your power is limitless, but you have to be willing to fall first.
Because the strength that you use to rise again will forever keep you.
Persist without hesitation and exude confidence.
You are all that you say you are.
And who are they to say your not?
I Love You and see more in you than you see in yourself.
Rise. For your fight is neither lonely nor in vain.
My ability to save you, will only be as strong as your desire to save yourself
I Love You to Life My Brother