Dear Life

"Anger is an uncontrollable feeling that betrays what you are when you are not yourself. Anger is that powerful internal force that blows out the light of reason." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My whole life it has always bothered me to hear the response, "Because I was mad." Things aren't just all of a sudden okay because you are mad. It is said in the bible that a person led by emotions is a double sided man, unstable in all his ways. People make so many life altering decisions in the midst of their anger and emotions.

I once said that "anger is an emotion that denies progress." Emotions are everything absent from logic, emotions are erattic and spontaneous. You are not who you truly desire to be when you are angry, the quote above is so powerful because it defines the emotion of anger as "uncontrollable." You may not be able to control the circumstances that spark anger within you, but you and solely you are responsible and can control the reactions you take as a result of whatever circumstance.

The quote says anger is an "internal force," it starts within and ends within. When you are outside of the "light of reason," you are in the dark. There is no direction in the dark. "Because I was mad," will never be a viable excuse for erratic and illogical actions. Sometimes its as elementary as counting to ten. Think first.

Rob Hill

Dear Life

To whom do I owe, except self and God?

When asked the above question, Ithought long and hard before answering. In a world engulfed in the "do me" attitude, many of us feel we have nothing to prove. In most cases we ask ourselves that same question often times leaving out the most important element; that being God.

I was once a self oppressor. Tying my own hands and giving the world credit for "making" me that way. If this didn't happen then I could have been that, or if that didn't happen then I could have been this. I found the answer to teh question quite easy and i'll answer for myself.

I, Robert B. Hillman owe all the loved ones who cared enough to say no. All the people who didnt cater to me. My mother who refused to quit and give up. My family who I didnt allow to love me. The many people who told me I would be great. The church who first claimed I would change lives.

I owe myself, not because I want to prove people wrong, or because I'm motivated by the many limitations others put on me. I do all I can because I know I can, I dont need anymore motivation than that.

I owe first and foremost my Father, my God, my Lord and my Savior. I thought for while
I could be and acheive greatness all by myself. I find strength in knowing he has my back. I find strength in knowing he's not judging me, he's loving me and allowing me to make decisions. The many mistakes I have made, the long dead end roads I have traveled, and yet I still have found a return to love.

To whom do I owe, except God and self?

Rob Hill